The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
