I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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