So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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