I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
In America we eat man semen.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
