Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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