someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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