Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
