my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
