Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
