It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
