Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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