Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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