I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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