wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
