i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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