buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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