I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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