ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
