did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
