thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I deserve this hangover.
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