You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
