I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
