We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
