I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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