Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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