I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
