i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
