How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't deserve a penis
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
