I'd wear matching sweaters with you
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
