hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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