And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
