Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
they're like a gay fantastic four
Someone shattered a urinal.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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