I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
