My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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