i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
