the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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