how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
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