that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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