Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
40s are totally the cure
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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