The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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