He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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