I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
