Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How's work?
Spinning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
