i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
that's an acceptable place to lick
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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