I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
my liver is dry heaving
I want to fling myself into the sun
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
