there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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