before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
