May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
