Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
