I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
